Training Till Failure
In the collection of essays, When the Rewards Can Be So Great, edited by Kwame Dawes, the writer John McNally talks about failure. He complains about writers on Facebook, whether they write about their successes or their failures. The boasters are showing an illusion—selectively presenting the best parts of themselves and tricking the audience into thinking that this is the whole, and that they don’t measure up. The ones posting about failure, meanwhile, are engaging in a massive cliche—ascribing meaning to suffering when none may exist.
It seems a dated essay, but substitute TikTok and Instagram for Facebook, and it is more timeless. Public attention and self-critical eyes incentivize creators to show perfection and their audiences to self-flagellate for not living up.
What about the failures though? I think he’s right that people posting about failure almost seem to be coping. But putting aside the performative nature of doing so publicly, what are you meant to do? You sort of have to trick yourself into being okay with failure, and see the larger point. All success has its roots in failure, especially in writing. One way I get around those feelings is by viewing writing the way someone views a sport. I'm trying to become world-class in my skill at the craft. That will naturally involve pain the same way a weightlifter feels soreness as they increase the weight they lift. Training to the point of failure makes the point you fail higher and higher each time. So too with writing.