Writer as Reader

In On Writing, Stephen King describes his wife as his Ideal Reader. Aiming at what she likes seems to give him great comfort in writing. So I was wracking my brain, trying to come up with someone who might stand in as my Ideal Reader, who I think of while writing. I thought of several important people in my life to whom I frequently send work: my childhood best friend, my best friend from college, and my sister. My college friend is my aesthetic soulmate, and I had almost talked myself into putting her down as my Ideal Reader. But, though she and I share the exact same taste in art and literature, I don't think about her reactions while writing the way King seems to do with his wife. In the end, I really am writing with my own taste in mind, because I have a clear sense of what I think is good art, even if I have a lousy sense of how to get there besides trial and error.

This isn't to say that I am above caring about the audience. Like most aspiring artists, I unhealthily care about the audience. And I desperately hope that the reader likes what I'm offering. But I don't know what they want. Nor do I think they do either. I certainly couldn't tell someone what I want as an audience member in regards to the specifics of the content. I just know how I want to feel. So when I think about the Ideal Reader, I really think about my Ideal Writer. I typically picture myself watching my favorite movies or plays, or reading my favorite books. I'm chasing that moment reading Antigone or King Lear, or watching A Man for All Seasons, when I get goosebumps and shiver, that feeling I get when something feels transcendent, sublime, alien yet familiar, given to me by an Ideal Writer (perhaps thinking of themselves as readers when writing, and its turtles all the way down).

I'm addicted to that feeling as a reader. And I think about that feeling as a writer (even if I struggle to evoke it). I suppose, when writing, I'm playing all roles.